Annual Look at the Oscars 2013

For the last 44 years or so, I've made predictions about Oscar winners. 2012 was a good year for movies, but there are very few "Oscar locks" this year, which may make the show a little more interesting I saw most of the Best Picture nominees, and liked most of them (haven't seen Amour (and would really like to) or Life of Pi (and have very mixed feelings about that, much as I love most Ang Lee movies or Zero Dark Thirty or Django Unchained (again, mixed feelings on those two))

I noted several hopeful trends in my last year's Oscar notes, including several movies with large, strong casts of actresses. Sadly, I can't say I noticed that trend this year. There was some interesting, ambitious SF - Hunger Games, Looper and Cloud Atlas. Sometimes, Hollywood remembers it takes a little more than strong production values or a superhero to make a science fiction movie. Sadly, Cloud Atlas tanked at the box office. I think it's the sort of movie people will look back at and appreciate as it's a fascinating movie.

I'm going to an Oscar party again this year, and expect to be there for all of it as I'm going to the Hollywood Theater Oscar Party in Dormont.

[[Comments made after the show.]]

Best Picture

• Amour
• Argo WON (will win)
• Beasts of the Southern Wild
• Django Unchained
• Les Misérables
• Life of Pi
• Lincoln (should win)
• Silver Linings Playbook
• Zero Dark Thirty

This is a tough category but for weird reasons. I really loved Lincoln. I'm a huge history buff and love it when a movie gets so much of it so right. Some of the complaints about Lincoln are on the strange side - it shouldn't win because of Spielberg - it shouldn't win because 20th Century Fox (AKA Rupert Murdock) was involved. I liked Argo very much, and Ben Affleck really captured the chaos around the Iran hostage crisis very well. However, upon a second viewing, its flaws really bothered me (lack of distinctive characterizations outside of the Hollywood guys, severe Hollywoodization of the last half hour of the movie). Beasts is simultaneously the most naturalistic and the most fantastic movie of the lot. I loved Q. Wallis' fierce performance (and, I'm sorry, you can't call it anything but that). Silver Linings Playbook had a very smart script and terrific performances all the way around, but is a little light for a Best Picture Oscar. This might be the year of the surprise winner, so maybe something like Django Unchained or Silver Linings Playbook could win. However, I think Argo will win, mostly as an apology to Ben Affleck who didn't get nominated for Best Director, but I think Lincoln deserves to win.

[[By the end of the show, it looked like Life of Pi could have pulled a massive upset.]]

Best Actor in a Leading Role

• Bradley Cooper - Silver Linings Playbook
• Daniel Day-Lewis WON - Lincoln (should win, will win)
• Hugh Jackman - Les Misérables
• Joaquin Phoenix - The Master
• Denzel Washington - Flight

There are two Oscar locks, and this is one of them. Daniel Day-Lewis will be the second person to win three Best Acting Oscars (after Katharine Hepburn (4) (Meryl Streep has only won 2 + 1 for supporting). His performance as Lincoln was spot-on and very moving. And, remember, DDL is only 55 so he could be winning them for decades to come. Both Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman gave strong performances in their respective movies.

[[After a rocky night of humor onstage, Daniel Day-Lewis, who's often kind of shy in public, told a great joke when he said that he was supposed to have played Margaret Thatcher (Meryl Streep had given him his Oscar) and Streep was due to play Lincoln. He knew who he was talking to. Seth McFarlane struggled with this all evening.]]

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

• Alan Arkin - Argo
• Robert De Niro - Silver Linings Playbook (should win, will win)
• Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Master
• Tommy Lee Jones - Lincoln
• Christoph Waltz WON- Django Unchained

I'm really not sure how Oscar voters are going to go on this one. I've heard a lot about De Niro possibly getting an Oscar for this as he's only won 1 for support and 1 for leading. That's possible; also, this is one of his comic roles, and he's become a brilliant comic actor over the years. If Django Unchained or The Master don't get other awards, perhaps Waltz or Hoffman will win here. I liked Tommy Lee Jones, but I found his performance much weaker the second time I saw Lincoln.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

• Jessica Chastain - Zero Dark Thirty
• Jennifer Lawrence WON - Silver Linings Playbook
• Emmanuelle Riva - Amour (will win)
• Quvenzhané Wallis - Beasts of the Southern Wild
• Naomi Watts - The Impossible (should win)

Naomi Watts gave one of the best performances ever in the little-seen The Impossible. It's about the most harrowing performances since Meryl Streep in Sophie's Choice (though for slightly different reasons). I liked Jennifer Lawrence very much in Silver Linings Playbook, but I think I liked her performance ever more in Hunger Games. Quvenzhané Wallis was perfect in Beasts. Jessica Chastain (based on the many ads I've seen for Zero Dark Thirty) gives a solid performance.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

• Amy Adams - The Master
• Sally Field - Lincoln
• Anne Hathaway WON - Les Misérables (should win, will win)
• Helen Hunt - The Sessions
• Jacki Weaver - Silver Linings Playbook

OK, this is the other lock. Anne Hathaway gave a short but amazing performance in Les Mis. I thought Sally Field also gave a very strong performance - I half wish this category could see a tie.

Best Animated Feature Film

• Brave WON - Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman
• Frankenweenie - Tim Burton (should win, will win)
• Paranorman - Sam Fell and Chris Butler
• The Pirates! Band of Misfits - Peter Lord
• Wreck-it Ralph - Rich Moore

This is a surprisingly tough category. I loved the design and voice casting of Brave, and the script was a little stronger than a typical kid's feature. Frankenweenie is marvelously weird. While I didn't see Wreck-it Ralph, it's very clever.

Best Cinemetography

• Anna Karenina - Seamus McGarvey
• Django Unchained - Robert Richardson
• Life of Pi WON - Claudio Miranda
• Lincoln - Janusz Kaminski
• Skyfall - Roger Deakins (should win, will win)

Moderately tough category.

Best Costume Design

• Anna Karenina WON - Jacqueline Durran (will win)
• Les Misérables - Paco Delgado
• Lincoln - Joanna Johnston
• Mirror Mirror - Eiko Ishioka (should win)
• Snow White and the Huntsman - Colleen Atwood

This category has the most bizarre nominees. The costumes in Les Mis and Snow White were so-so. I liked the costumes in Mirror Mirror since everything in that movie was meant to be over-the-top and on the cartoony side, and the nominee died before the movie even opened.

Best Directing

• Amour - Michael Haneke
• Beasts of the Southern Wild - Benh Zeitlin
• Life of Pi WON - Ang Lee
• Lincoln - Steven Spielberg (should win, will win)
• Silver Linings Playbook - David O. Russell

Despite the anti-Lincoln backlash, I think Spielberg deserves the Oscar.

[[This was the biggest surprise of the night. I generally like Ang Lee movies very much, but didn't like the sound of Life of Pi]]

Best Documentary Feature

• 5 Broken Cameras - Emad Burnat and Guy Davidi
• The Gatekeepers - Dror Moreh, Philippa Kowarsky and Estelle Fialon
• How to Survive A Plague - David France and Howard Gertler (should win, will win)
• The Invisible War - Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering
• Searching for Sugar Man WON - Malik Bendjelloul and Simon Chinn

I haven't seen any of these documentaries this year, but the two movies I've heard the most about are How to Survive a Plague (about AIDS) and Searching for Sugar Man (about an obscure American singer/songwriter whose works were huge in South Africa). One of these two is the most likely to win, and I think it's more likely to be How to Survive a Plague.

Best Documentary Short Subject

• "Inocente" WON - Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine
• "Kings Point" - Sari Gilman and Jedd Wider
• "Mondays at Racine" - Cynthia Wade and Robin Honan
• "Open Heart" - Kief Davidson and Cori Shepherd Stern
• "Redemption" - Jon Alpert and Matthew o’Neill

I think I'll ever skip guessing on this one as I have no idea.

Best Film Editing

• Argo WON - William Goldenberg (should win, will win)
• life of Pi - Tim Squyres
• Lincoln - Michael Kahn
• Silver Linings Playbook - Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers
• Zero Dark Thirty - Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg

I thought the editing for Argo was especially good.

Best Foreign Langauge Film

• Amour WON - Austria (should win, will win)
• Kon-Tiki - Norway
• No - Chile
• A Royal Affair - Denmark
• War Witch - Canada

Hope to see Amour.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

• Hitchcock - Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel
• The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane (should win, will win)
• Les Misérables WON - Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

This has the single worst nominee - Les Mis. Sorry, the make-up was good here and there, but mostly way, way overdone. But The Hobbit has a similar problem - some of the make-up is good, and others of it is overly cartoony.

Best Music (Original Score)

• Anna Karenina - Dario Marianelli
• Argo - Alexandre Desplat
• Life of Pi WON - Mychael Danna
• Lincoln - John Williams (should win, will win)
• Skyfall - Thomas Newman

My favorite score was ignored - Cloud Atlas was the best from last year.

[[The little snippets they played from Life of Pi sounded very nice.]]

Best Music (Original Song)

• "Before my Time" Chasing Ice - Music and Lyric by J. Ralph
• "Everybody Needs A Best Friend" Ted - Music by Walter Murphy Lyric by Seth MacFarlane
• "Pi’s Lullaby" Life of Pi - Music by Mychael Danna Lyric by Bombay Jayashri
• "Skyfall" Skyfall WON - Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth (should win, will win)
• "Suddenly" Les Misérables - Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg Lyric by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil

Best Production Design

• Anna Karenina - Production Design: Sarah Greenwood Set Decoration: Katie Spencer (should win, will win)
• The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Production Design: Dan Hennah Set Decoration: Ra Vincent and Simon Bright
• Les Misérables - Production Design: Eve Stewart Set Decoration: Anna Lynch-Robinson
• Life of Pi - Production Design: David Gropman Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
• Lincoln WON - Production Design: Rick Carter Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Lincoln had detailed, accurate production design, and I wouldn't object at all if it won. But Anna Karenina was fresh and inventive and I love its playing around with stagecraft.

Best Short Film (Animated)

• "Adam and Dog" - Minkyu Lee
• "Fresh Guacamole" - PES (should win, will win)
• "Head Over Heels" - Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin o’Reilly
• "Maggie Simpson" in “The Longest Daycare” - David Silverman
• "Paperman" WON - John Kahrs

I hadn't seen any of these, but Sunday Morning played "Fresh Guacamole" this morning and it was very inventive

Best Short Film (Live Action)

• "Asad" - Bryan Buckley and Mino Jarjoura
• "Buzkashi Boys" - Sam French and Ariel Nasr (should win, will win)
• "Curfew" WON - Shawn Christensen
• "Death of a Shadow" ("Dood van een SchaduW") - Tom Van Avermaet and Ellen De Waele
• "Henry" - Yan England

"Buzkashi Boys," about boys in Afghanistan, has had incredible buzz.

Best Sound Editing

• Argo - Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn
• Django Unchained - Wylie Stateman
• Life of Pi - Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton
• Skyfall WON - Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers (should win, will win)
• Zero Dark Thirty WON - Paul N.J. Ottosson

Haven't seen most of these so I'll guess Skyfall.

[[A very rare tie]]

Best Sound Mixing

• Argo - John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia
• Les Misérables WON - Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes
• Life of Pi - Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin (should win, will win)
• Lincoln - Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins
• Skyfall - Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson

[[Now, that's a Les Mis win I really can't complain about, particularly given that the songs were sung live during the filming and the music sounded great.]]

Best Visual Effects

• The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White
• Life of Pi WON - Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott
• Marvel’s the Avengers - Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick (will win)
• Prometheus - Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill (should win)
• Snow White and the Huntsman - Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson

I'm torn on this category. It was a year when the most visually interesting movie (Cloud Atlas) was completely shut out. Movies like Prometheus and Snow White weren't very good movies, though the effects in Prometheus were really great. The Hobbit has strong effects...but, sometimes, they, like its make-up, were very cartoony and out of place.

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

• Argo WON - Screenplay by Chris Terrio
• Beasts of the Southern Wild - Screenplay by Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin
• Life of Pi - Screenplay by David Magee
• Lincoln - Screenplay by Tony Kushner (should win, will win)
• Silver Linings Playbook - Screenplay by David O. Russell

A very tough category with four very strong options (haven't seen Life of Pi). I think ultimately it goes back to Lincoln, but if the Oscars turn out to be an Argo or Silver Lingings Playbook sweep, this award will go to one of them.

[[Much of the script for Argo is pretty good...but...*sigh*]]

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

• Amour - Written by Michael Haneke
• Django Unchained WON - Written by Quentin Tarantino (will win)
• Flight - Written by John Gatins
• Moonrise Kingdom - Written by Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola (should win)
• Zero Dark Thirty - Written by Mark Boal

Moonrise Kingdom was one of my favorite films of last year. I'm still surprised it wasn't nominated for its unique production design. I would love to see this win, but I expect this is the award Tarantino will get.

---

2/25/13

The show was kind of a mixed bag. The focus was on movie music and it went very well - Shirley Bassey, Jennifer Hudson and Adele really rocked the hall. Seth McFarlane is a decent singer and song and dance man, but..."I Saw Her Boobs" went on for too long. His opening joke about "Making Tommy Lee Jones laugh" was great, but it went down hill from there. It was a very glittery night, both set design and gown wise.

I had a very good time at the Hollywood Theater Oscar party. I won a mini Oscar statuette for answering some movie trivia questions correctly. Comfy seats, snacks and watching the Oscar show on a large screen.

I had one of my worse years of making Oscar predictions ever - I probably only guessed about 20% right. Mostly, it was from my failure to appreciate Life of Pi, which I haven't seen yet. [[[And, when I finally saw it, I really didn't like it that much, though it looks great.]]]

A Woman's Right for All Health Care

It's that simple - an important part of woman's health care is access to pre-natal care, fertility treatments, birth control and abortion. Access to health care, and what types of health care she wants to use, is up to her.

I'm part of the 70% - I believe Roe vs. Wade should not be overturned and that abortion should stay a woman's choice.

Sleep Schedule for an Insomniac

This is a little extreme even for me, but here's what happened last night:

• 10:45: Get into bed, turn on House Hunters
• 10:50: Fall asleep (I was tired, but not that tired)
• 10:59: Wake up, watch the news
• 11:15: Fall asleep
• 11:34: Wake up, feel wide awake, consider watching Jimmy Kimmel
• 11:36: Fall asleep
• 11:55: Wake up, turn off the TV
  Toss and turn for at least 20 minutes (yes, I know they tell you not to have a TV in your bedroom, but TV sometimes helps me sleep)
  Jim gets into bed sometime after this, but he doesn't wake me up.
• 1:00: Wake up
• 1:10: Fell back to sleep
• 2:20: Wake up. I might have fallen back to sleep quickly except Jim has a cold and he was breathing very noisly. Tried various sleep positions, counting things, any other quiet trick I could think of. Nada. Wide awake.
• 3:20: Got out of bed, went to the guest room, started reading The Signal and the Noise (great first chapter, too much baseball in the second but I know Nate Silver loves baseball)
• 4:30: Decided I was tired enough to go to sleep, so I put the book down and turned off the light
• 4:50ish: Fell asleep
• 6ish: Wake up after having an odd dream that I now can't remember
• 6:10ish: Fell back to sleep
• 7:04: Wake up, went downstairs

So, I was in bed for a little over 8 hours, and I slept about 5 hours of that. Usually, I'm in bed for under 6 hours. Have had 3 nights in a row of 5 hours of sleep, but this was the most disrupted sleep night I've had in a couple of weeks.

Deer Attack

We have some very nice bushes near our door, as a photo from last spring indicates.

Or I should say "had," because this is what they look like now:

Upon closer inspection, we saw the deer prints. I guess they took the reindeer sign literally.

   

Sunrise Photography (1/9/13)

One small advantage of chronic insomnia is I see sunrise almost every morning. And we have a nice view of sunrise from our deck (actually, our sliding glass doors just now as the deck still has a few inches of snow):

Living Among the Gas Wells

In 2011, I didn't think we lived very near any gas wells. About a year ago I realized one was being built south of me (I don't tend to drive that way very often). By April, I was seeing gas burn-off from, not one, but from two nearby wells. Luckily, burn-off and the reek from it is only a temporary phenomenon.

So, for the last nine months, there have been two active wells within a few miles of my house, two more planned...and something being built on a nearby hill (the question mark)

Map courtesy of Independent Water Testing.

About that question mark...we live in modern residential neighborhood in a fairly rural area. Last winter, a small dirt road went in between two houses, which was odd. The area behind the houses is acres and acres of pasture land and some small groves. This week, the dirt road was extended to the top of the next hill, about a half mile away.

I'd like to believe some rich person is building a dream house out that way. Maybe so. But the way land is being gobbled up for gas wells, it wouldn't surprise me at all to see the land will be permitted (though, at this time, it seems it hasn't been yet). [[By March 2013, it was clear the ? is for someone's dream house. I was very relieved, and the house looks very cool.]]

I worry about the pollution from this, but I worry more about the water. Luckily, we're not on well water.

I'm disgusted by the goings-on around the gang rape of a drunk 16-year-old in Steubenville, so I went to #occupysteubenville today. I got there early and took a number of pictures:

More photos.

Next #occupysteubenville rally is planned for February 2. Groundhog day as a symbol for rape makes sense - we've heard about incidents like the Steubenville gang rape where the woman is not believed many, many times and we're sick to death of it.

My Year in Exercise

I probably won't get to walk tomorrow, though I may wind up doing some shoveling, so here's my walking(mostly)/kayaking(a little) stats for 2012:

• 600.5 miles
• 352 workouts
• 227 hours walking/kayaking
• 61,843 calories burned

And I do recommend mapmywalk.com for tracking your waling/running/biking distance statistics.

I have been, very informally, participating in an activity called "Walk to Rivendell," where a group of Lord of the Rings fans have calculated distances in Middle Earth. I walked at least 700 miles between 2003 and 2011, and 600 miles this year, for 1300 miles total. That's 9 miles short of Rauros (the end of Fellowship of the Ring).

My goals for 2013:

• 800 miles (1,000 if still unemployed) - use treadmill more in bad weather
• start adding some weight training and XBox workouts
• try to learn a little yoga (have a book that says it MIGHT help with insomnia)
• do more kayaking
• walk on the Montour Trail - we've done about 5 miles of it in years past, but should do more. Maybe try to do more good weather weekends and attempt to do 20 miles over the next year
• eat more spinach and fewer carbs and meat

Weightwise, I wound up loosing about 10 total pounds...but I had lost 20 and regained 10 over the fall. Ug. Main issue seemed to be when I stopped taking Ambien back in September, I started craving carbs again something fierce. Also, a bunch of travel, depressing life events, etc which tends to make me eat more. However, over the next six weeks, we won't be traveling and I should be able to get my eating back under better control. If I start to lose weight over the winter (and I never lose weight over the winter), that would be a very good sign indeed.

Who Said "Religious Freedom Doesn't Mean You Can Force Others to Live by Your Own Beliefs"?

Even in the days when I was still religious, I was never evangelical. I generally believed in "live and let live," but, well, religions that restricted women's rights and advocated beating children have always offended me.

When I can find quotes about life that are meaningful to me, I like to add them to my Good Quotes page. I also try to find the original person who said it, so that the quote is properly attributed.

I ran into "Religious freedom doesn't mean you can force others to live by your own beliefs" and liked it. It was on a graphic passed around that attributed it to President Obama. I thought I'd check...and, it looks like, he didn't say it.

Since we on the left are constantly reminding people that "facts matter," we need to be more careful about our facts. I'm about 99% sure he never said it, as I went to whitehouse.gov, and this quote is not attributed to him at his own site.

Now, he did give a talk back in February 2012 over health care and reproductive rights, where he clearly never made this statement. If he had made this statement, he would have probably included it in his concluding remarks:

Now, I've been confident from the start that we could work out a sensible approach here, just as I promised. I understand some folks in Washington may want to treat this as another political wedge issue, but it shouldn’t be. I certainly never saw it that way. This is an issue where people of goodwill on both sides of the debate have been sorting through some very complicated questions to find a solution that works for everyone. With today’s announcement, we've done that. Religious liberty will be protected, and a law that requires free preventive care will not discriminate against women.

We live in a pluralistic society where we're not going to agree on every single issue, or share every belief. That doesn’t mean that we have to choose between individual liberty and basic fairness for all Americans. We are unique among nations for having been founded upon both these principles, and our obligation as citizens is to carry them forward. I have complete faith that we can do that.

So, who did say "Religious freedom doesn't mean you can force others to live by your own beliefs" first? It's not clear. I wish I had. But, certainly, people like Thomas Jefferson and James Madison pretty much said it in the First Amendment over 200 years ago:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Do You Think a Group That Practices Harassment Like the Westboro Baptist Church Should be Tax-Exempt?

I started a White House Petition 14 days ago to tell the IRS to investigate the tax-exempt status of the Westboro Baptist Church. Since then, 72,000 people have signed it. A person named Ralph W from Maine was number 72,000. It'll be online another 2 weeks, and I hope to reach 100,000 signers by then. https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/investigate-irs-tax-exempt-status-westboro-baptist-church/YrKbHYtV

From Holidaysburg to Newtown...

Since moving back to Pittsburgh in 1993, I've probably done the drive between Western Pennsylvania and Central Massachusetts 50 times. I take 22 to 220 to 80 to 81 to 84 to the Mass Pike, meaning I drive across the very rural parts of Pennsylvania and New York, and near many cities/suburbs in Connecticut and Massachusetts.

So I've driven through many small towns in these areas many times without giving them a second thought...until this month.

Just off of Route 22, Holidaysburg was the site of gun-nuttery last Friday (just before Wayne LaPierre's infamous diatribe/non-press conference), when a man took a gun, shot into a church, murdered a woman, murdered two men out walking and shot three police officers who killed him.

A few hours later, we drove by the familiar sign for Newtown/Sandy Hook in Connecticut on Route 84. Someone had put a large wreath on it. I couldn't stop on 84 to take a photo of the sign due to traffic. The incident is now so well known that I don't need to say anything about it.

Except now I'll always think of my drive from Pennsylvania to Massachusetts as just another tour of gun-related mass murder.

When you live in Pennsylvania, you know people like their guns. Pennsylvania is full of hunters. Since moving to a more rural area of Pennsylvania a few years back, we hear target shooters and hunters in the woods behind our house much of the fall. While I would never own a gun myself, I have no issue with game hunters owning guns...except when they want to own people-hunting semis. That's got to stop.

Follow-up to It's Time to #StopTheNRA #StopTheGOP #StopTheWBC

A few days after the Newtown Massacre, I decided my anger over the situation needed more than 140 characters, so I wrote a blog post. A number of things happened over the last week to the WBC/NRA/GOP this week, so I thought I'd update.

A week after the Newtown Gun Massacre, after a week of hiding away in an undisclosed location, NRA president Wayne LaPierre claimed he was going to have press conference. In reality, he spewed 20 minutes of a gun fantasyland, that included that America should have armed security guards in every school. He blamed everything he didn't like in America, never blaming the actual murder weapons themselves - the guns the NRA promote. While the easily-terrorized ran out and bought more guns, it sounds like more rational people have quit the NRA.

Just before LaPierre started to speak, a gunman murdered three people in rural Pennsylvania - a woman helping to decorate a church and two men, a man and his father-in-law, just out for a walk. He also shot (but did not kill) a few cops before the cops took him out like the mad dog he was.

There was even an excellent editorial in The New York Times by Richard Painter The NRA Protection Racket. And another one on gun control by Daniel O'Shea. And Andrew Sullivan is mad as hell and he's not going to take the stupidity and fanaticism of the Republican party anymore!

The GOP didn't have its best best week either. The far-far-right Tea Partiers deserted John Boehner's far-right Republicans and wouldn't vote in favor of his bad plan B because it still asked for more taxes from millionaires. So the House of Representatives couldn't vote, even though the right-wing Senate had approved a bill with rational concessions to avoid sending the country over the fiscal cliff. Boehner may be out of a job, but whoever replaces him will probably be worse given how highly the Tea Party thinks of itself and how utterly incapable they are of dealing with modern times.

My Investigate the IRS Tax-Exempt Status of the Westboro Baptist Church petition has 58,629 signatures. Thanks to everyone who has signed it.

The Westboro Baptist Church did try to protest a few of the Newtown funerals, but the word was that good, local people came out to shield the mourners from the morons.

Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

Let Your Senator Know How You Feel About Semiautomatic Weapons

Mother Jones published a list of Senators and their opinions on semiautomatic assault weapons ban.

My Senators, Bob Casey & Pat Toomey, both call themselves pro-life. But, Toomey really cares about the NRA, and Casey...well, there might be a little hope for him. So this is what I wrote to both of them:

I hope you will take your "pro-life" attitude seriously and vote in favor of any legislation that bans semiautomatic weapon/ammunition and any legislation that repairs the gun show sale background check loophole. Your constituents are more important than an NRA rating.

It's Time to #StopTheNRA #StopTheGOP #StopTheWBC

For me, the Newtown massacre was the tipping point.

It's time to stop pretending that the NRA is good for this country. It's a stain on the country, in much the same way that Grover Norquist, the Westboro Baptist Church and even the Republican Party are all stains on the country.

Without the NRA caring more about gun companies than gun owners and buying a number of politicians, this country would have had a semiautomatic gun/ammo ban, and hundreds if not thousands of people murdered in this country with semis wouldn't have been killed. I know banning semis will not end gun violence, but it will end massacres as we've had in Connecticut, Virginia and Colorado over the last few years. It will end the murder of mass numbers of random people.

The Republican party has done nothing but show that loyalty to Grover Norquist and big business and rich people is more important than supporting the country. It is utterly out-of-touch with the people, who should thoroughly reject it. Many of us have, but more need to. The Republicans have been convincing people to vote against their own self-interest for many years. The facts don't matter to Republicans. The facts should matter to the people -- we're the ones who have to live and die by facts.

The Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) is a self-proclaimed church, but is not a real church. It is a group of raving, litigious homophobes. They picketed funerals of soldiers, and they are so low that they plan to picket the funerals of people murdered in Newtown. Enough is enough. If these people still have a tax-exemption, it should be revoked. I applaud the group of anonymous hackers who broke into the church's computer system and posted the names and addresses of members of this "church" online.

Enough is enough. We need to have a rational country. We do have a rational president, but, sadly, not a rational Congress. We must do everything we can to vote out the NRA-loving, gerry-mandering, women-hating Republicans and replace them with rational representatives who care more about the country as a whole than about the rich as a group.

But talking and tweeting is not enough. We must be advocates for people rather than for guns or for big-money interests. We must support groups like DemandAPlan and Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence to make semi-automatic weapons and ammo illegal. Remind the White House to take action on semi-automatic weapons by signing this petition (by the time I'd signed it on the afternoon of 12/14, I was around number 14,000). Sign the White House Petition to declare the Westboro Baptist Church a hate group and revoke its tax-exempt status.

As we Americans showed in the 2012 election, when we all work together, we can bring sensible people to government. We need to do this more consistently.

If you think it's time to stop these groups, add #StopTheNRA #StopTheGOP #StopTheWBC to your tweets and other messages. Let's start a movement - stop these groups that have brought (in the case of the NRA with its loose gun laws) or tried to bring so much terror to our country. It's time.

---

By using a lot of social network reminders (especially Twitter), I collected 25,000 signatures in less than 33 hours telling the IRS to investigate the tax-exempt status of the Westboro Baptist Church. The White House has gotten a number of anti-Westboro Baptist Church petitions in the last few days, and I'm glad mine is one they will have to read and respond to.

---

Related Essays

• My Letter to President Obama After the Murder of Children/Teachers in Connecticut, December 14, 2012
• A Letter to Any Republican Congressional Representative, December 2012
• Republicans Still Can't Come to Grip with Voters, November 2012

My Letter to President Obama After the Murder of Children/Teachers in a Connecticut School

I am horrified by yet another gun-related mass murder in this country.

But, President Obama, this is yet another fight you must take on.

I know, it's a hard fight. I know the NRA has many politicians in utter thrall, in much the same way Grover Norquist has many politicians in thrall. But it's time to stop letter guns be such a common splatter on our society and start controlling guns more rationally.

Enough is enough, sir. You are wrong to say that now is not the time to talk gun control. Now we must discuss gun control. I demand that the federal government starts dealing with gun control. http://www.demandaplan.org/.

A Letter to Any Republican Congressional Representative

You won your gerrymandered district. President Obama won a majority of the national vote. I trust President Obama - I do not trust you in Congress who consistently put the wishes of your party (and Grover Norquist) in front of the needs of your constituents. The top 2% can afford to pay a little more in taxes to help the country. Move us away from the fiscal cliff - serve the country for a change.

Preparing for Death Online - How ISPs and Social Media Companies Can Help People Plan

I'm a realist - we all die and we ought to have a few clues about how we handle the material we've written/developed online over time.

I'm maybe a little more conscious about this fact as I've been running a site called Dead People Server since 1997. This is a trivia site about celebrities, but it is a daily reminder that we all come to an end sometime. I've also had two surgeries over the last five years, and while I've recovered well from both, chronic pain, hospital visits, and putting advanced directives and living wills into effect remind you how fragile life can be.

I've been following, slightly, the "Digital Death" folks, who've been trying to remind people about the importance of being aware that "your online stuff" survives you. And Jaweek Kaleem wrote good article on Huffington Post called Death On Facebook Now Common As 'Dead Profiles' Create Vast Virtual Cemetery. Yes, the article was a little too Facebook-centric, as many of the same issues apply to other types of online sites, even Huffington Post itself.

So there are several simple additions sites like Facebook and Tumbler and Huffington Post can make to their profile software, to help remind people that their digital material will survive them - and what do they want to do about it?

• Add an option for "my account's executor" - a name and E-mail address (or maybe multiple names and E-mail addresses) so the account owner, before they die, can assign a person (or people) the right to control their material after their death. We all die some day. Many of us will have an idea (we're old or sick), but some die in accidents, sudden death, war or natural disasters. Plan ahead.
• Add an option for "make archive site" - it retains the site, but marks the site "archive" (for people who might quit a site while keeping their material up) or "memorial" (for people who've died - it might pin a note to the top of the site, saying how/where/when the accountowner died and keep the site open for comments from friends and relatives).
• Add an option for "remove all accountowner content," with an option to download it by the account owner or executor if desired. Some people like their papers burned after death and this is the virtual equivalent (even if some of it still survives in archive.org).

Creeps in Society, Part II

Last weekend, I was in Philadelphia, co-running Smofcon 30, a small conference for conference planners (yeah, that does sound a little self-referential). As I still have bad insomnia, I tended to shower, dress, take my laptop and go find breakfast and free WIFI. I found a nearby 24-hour diner where I'd have an omelette and get caught up on my E-mail.

The second morning I was there, I was busily typing away when the man at the next booth got up and asked, "Can you look something up for me?"

This guy was probably 50-something and was a little scruffy-looking, but, what the hell. I'm 50-something and often a little scruffy-looking myself. "Sure."

"I have to see if my lawyer listed my company."

"OK."

He gave me the name of his company. It was only listed in some public database of Pennsylvania companies. He had me look up a second company name, which was also just listed in the same public database.

Then he asked me to look up his name (which, while I do remember it, I will not mention it here). OK, this was getting a little odd, but, I did.

We concluded I probably didn't find him in particular because he's not online and his name is relatively common.

"Let me buy you breakfast."

Now, that was weird. "No, I'm all set."

"I want to buy you breakfast."

A little louder. "No."

"I insist on buying you breakfast."

WTF!! "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" I said it loud enough that it probably echoed through the room.

The man skittered back to his booth.

I returned to my computer, and it was quiet in our part of the restaurant. About five minutes later, the guy yelled, "I have a cell phone."

I looked up but otherwise ignored the creep. It's just occurred to me that he might have taken my photo. Ugh.

The waitress stopped back, I asked for my check, paid it quickly in cash and got the heck out of there, taking a quick look behind as I went to make sure the guy wasn't following me. He wasn't.

It was annoying example that many other women experience way more often than I have - that some men are sufficiently stupid that they don't understand the word "NO." Women need to be rude and loud when a man doesn't comprehend "NO." No apologies.

Later that day, I was going out to lunch with a friend from out of the country and she wanted plain old local food. We went over to the diner, as the food was about as local as you could get. We had a very pleasant lunch. At one point, one of the waitresses stopped by and said, "You were here this morning, weren't you?"

It turned out the guy was a known quantity in the diner and was a bit of a problem. She wanted to make sure I was OK, and I assured her I was.

Being firm to clueless men is just part of being an adult woman. If I'd had to do anything more than yell "NO" at the jerk, I bet the laptop would have been a fine weapon of self-defense.

Republicans Still Can't Come to Grips with Voters

The Republicans are still pretending that they lost many of the 2012 elections, especially on the federal level, because they were not conservative enough.

Since they don't like dealing with facts, they are ignoring both the vote and many exit polls that indicated the following facts:

• Voters believe in keeping abortion legal - roughly 60% in favor
• Voters want improved rights to health care by implementing Obamacare
• Voters don't believe that women magical powers over their bodies, like mystically becoming non-pregnant if they become pregnant as the result of a rape
• Voters believe people shouldn't be subject to different laws because they are gay
• Voters believe the rich should pay more in taxes
• In many areas, voters will vote for candidates without worrying about their race or gender

I heard the Republicans complaining over these issues time and time again yesterday.

The Republicans lost the big elections because they are completely out-of-touch with the average American. Yes, they do have very vocal supporters, there's no doubt about that. But most Republican politicians cannot relate to people who do not share their regressive views.

Even now, the Republicans are still playing the "we can't increase taxes" card. This is bull. Grover Norquist and his famous "no new taxes" pledge is crippling this country, threatening to send it over the famous fiscal cliff at the end of December. An awful lot of our hideous national debt is due to Bush, Cheney and Norquist, but to hear the Republicans talk, it's all the Democrats' fault.

Reality check - when was the last time we didn't have a high federal debt?

Under President Clinton, a Democrat.

My Hopes for the Second Obama Term

Watching the returns after the 2012 election was mostly a thrilling experience.

I'm so happy that the billions the Republican noise machine spent trying to discredit Obama were wasted! I'm very happy that the Website 538 was spot on with its meta-analysis of polls. I'm very happy that the members of the Rape Caucus lost and that Chuck Fuqua ("Parents should be able to execute their disobedient children") lost and that Michelle Bachmann almost lost. Women won all over the place - Warren, McCaskill, Baldwin. Paul Krugman has been nothing but right for years. Twitter was heavily overloaded and did not crash and burn Election Night. And Faux News was completely discredited as anything like a news source all night long. Millions of us already knew this, but I think millions more finally caught on last night,

Mostly, I'm glad we'll have four more years of President Obama. Like other developed nations, we'll have a more inclusive healthcare system. Yes, some people (and we might be some of them) will need to pay more taxes. The long "tax holiday" is over. Yes, I'm sure we'll still have some obstructionism, but I don't think the gridlock will be quite as strong as it was.

And, I do look forward to the coming civil war within the Republican party. The TPers are still as delusional as ever and think the American public wants them. They don't. More Republicans don't even want them anymore. For the next four years anyway, the country will progress and not regress. I think the TPers will try to start their own party, and will become increasingly less relevant. America voted for more women, voted for gay rights and legal pot, and re-elected a black president with both plenty of electoral votes and a clear popular majority.

The people who lost will continue to whine and cry - heard a few minutes of the Akin "concession" speech and it was amazingly juvenile. They can whine and cry all they want, but democracy and rationality basically won the day yesterday, and we can be very happy about that. Vote suppression and vote buying did not win - the voters won!

It looks like our country will finally not be involved in multiple wars simultaneously. While Romney and the hawks seem to want nothing more than a war with Iran, there are ways around that, and I'm sure Obama would not start a war with anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Perhaps our country will finally raise enough in taxes to improve crumbling infrastructure, improve the schools, contribute to science research and NASA. America can be a great country again, but it needs the tax money to do so.

Forward!

The Importance of Pollworkers

Good pollworkers are the lifeblood of every election. It's a thankless job with long hours. Getting sharp pollworkers is vital, particularly given voter intimidation, voter suppression and voter fraud efforts. The pollworkers are there to ensure we have a fair election and that every vote is counted (at least in most states) and that every voter votes only once.

We live in the suburbs west of Pittsburgh, in North Fayette Township. It's a very white, fairly Republican area. We've voted there without any problem since 2006 when we moved here. Usually, we're in and out in under 20 minutes, maybe a half hour.

We decided to vote early, got there before 7:25 and were shocked to see the many cars parked illegally and the long lines. We also parked illegally and got in line for our precinct. One line moved reasonably well, but our line moved extraordinarily slowly. One rumor that went down our line was that there was only one working voting machine for our precinct. It felt a little like voter suppression, except that we're in a Republican area in a state where Governor Tom Corbett has said he supports voter suppression in Democratic areas like Philadelphia. It seems unlikely they would try to suppress votes in a majority Republican area.

After about a half hour, someone who seemed to be working for the town said that the slowness of our line was due to "trainees." So they didn't see if their "trainees" could comprehend alphabetical order before they gave them a job as pollworker? That wasn't a good sign.

When we got inside (after a very cold hour and 15 minutes outside, we could finally get warmed up), some of the pollworkers looked pretty familiar to me. It was taking each person almost a minute to get processed to vote. When I got up to the table, it was already 8:50 (and, remember, the polls opened at 7:00) and I was voter number 102. That meant it was taking nearly a minute to process each voter before they even got to vote!

I don't like to criticize older people for being a little slow, and I appreciate the work they do. Heck, I'm middle aged and I'm slower than I'd like to be. But the woman who was in the critical position of having to look up people in a book that was in alphabetical order had trouble doing so. She couldn't remember that "M" was at the beginning of the second book. She couldn't find my husband's name right away, but once she found it, I said "and I"m after him" so she'd keep the book open to the same location.

They say with age comes wisdom, but it isn't wise to put a person on a voter processing table who slowed down hundreds of voters today. What if we lived in an area without enough voting machines, or if genuine voter suppression efforts were in play? How much longer would the line have been? How much longer would people have waited? But, most people waited.

Finally, we got to the voting machines, selected our candidates, pressed the big VOTE button and pressed CONFIRMED. We were out of there.

And the line outside was longer than ever.

So, if you're voting in North Fayette Township today, dress warmly, wear comfortable boots and maybe bring along a thermos of hot chocolate or coffee - you're probably going to need it. But vote anyway. Everyone's vote is too important to be deterred by slow processing.

---

Twelve hours later, I was tweeting with a neighbor who was in line at the same precinct after 8pm (PA polls close at 8). She said 150 people were in line in front of her. She didn't get to vote until 9pm. Her husband tried to vote earlier. They told him they couldn't find him on the voter lists, told him he was in the wrong place (when he wasn't) and did not offer him a provisional ballot. Residents of North Fayette Township need to talk to the County Board of Elections about this. It may not be deliberate suppression but it is gross incompetence.

Get Out and Vote, 2012 Edition

It's interesting how terrified Republicans are of all adults voting. It's as if they've finally realized how irrelevant they'd be in a true democracy. I frankly don't care who you vote for (well, of course I'd prefer that you vote for Obama), but I've always believed, whether I've tended to vote Republican, or gone the straight Democratic ticket (since 2000), that it's the civic responsibility of all adults to study the candidates and vote. Voter suppression, as already seen in Ohio and Florida, and will probably see in parts of Pennsylvania (especially Philadelphia) tomorrow is just plain evil no matter which party is doing it (but, over the last 20 years, it's been Republicans).

There are been times in our country's history when the Democrats have been the party of idiots, and now it's been the Republican party for over 20 years.

On the federal level, they've obstructed President Obama at every turn, including when he tried to bring more federal aid to job creation...and then they claimed in their political advertising that Obama failed to create jobs. I'll grant you, President Obama has had problems, but when I compare what he actually accomplished in the poisoned atmosphere of the Congress, I'm amazed.

In some states and localities, Republicans have gone out of their way to make it difficult for people to vote. Witness the long voting lines in Ohio and Florida. Why is that? These area with lines are in areas that tend to vote Democratic. You'll never see voting lines like that in Republican enclaves.

Republicans keep claiming they're for freedom...unless you're a woman, of course. Or a Muslim. Or an atheist. Or trying to vote for someone other than a Republican. Or...whatever minority they want to control this week.

The Republicans are trying to turn the United States of America into a tax haven for the rich and a hell hole for the poor. We're on our way to being a third world country because of the way they've turned "taxes" into a four letter word. I want to live in a place where there are good roads, good schools and good health care. Infrastructure matters - have you already forgotten what Sandy, Irene and Katrina did to areas that failed to have the cash to make needed improvements?

I want a government that's forward-thinking, and not one that only wants to go fight another war somewhere.

I want a government that's paying attention to environmental issues, not one that's busily polluting our water and air.

I want a government that's realistic and admits there are problems and wants to correct them, and work across the bureaucracy and with businesses and citizens to correct them. We need a big tent approach that's inclusive to deal with the future, and not a little estate that supports only the 1%.

I want four more years of Obama. While I'm not a big fan of Bob Casey, he has my vote for Senator as he's less bad than his opponent. Ditto Larry Maggi for Congress, Matt Smith for PA House and Mark Scappe for PA House.

Insomnia, Ambien and Me

I've had insomnia, on and off, since I was 5 years old.  Also had issues with depression and, at times, anxiety.  Been on and off of Prozac a few times, but not in this millennium.  Started having really chronic insomnia about 10 years ago when I was 45.  Went through temazapan and something else - both stopped working within months.  The one time I took Lunesta, it made me sleep much less.

In the meantime, I went from working full time to working part time to getting fired from a contract job because my concentration was so poor.  I work occasional odd jobs and do a lot of volunteer work.  Luckily, my husband has a job, but I'd really like to be able to work full time again.

In early 2008, I got involved with a medicine sleep study at the University of Pittsburgh, run by Dr. Douglas Moul (now of the Cleveland Clinic).   I spent three nights getting my sleep recorded and observed.  While it is frequently assumed that the sleep problem of all fat people is sleep apnea, I do not have it (which is good because I know I could never sleep with a CPAP machine). They found no reason for my persistent insomnia at all.  The only symptom they observed was that my blood oxygen decreased slightly just before I woke up.

I was put in a randomized group and given either a mystery drug or a placebo.  Within days, I was sleeping about an extra half hour to hour a night without any side effects.  Eight weeks later, I found out I was in the Ambien group.

Not that Ambien solved all my problems, but any extra sleep was very helpful.

So, since I wasn't having any side effects, I stayed on Ambien.  Every few months, I'd take an Ambien vacation where my sleep would drop to 2-3 hours from the 5-6 hours I'd get on Ambien.  So I'd go back on it.

Over time, though, I was getting less sleep on Ambien.  After 4 1/2 years on it, I finally took my last Ambien a month ago, at a time when I am unemployed, walking 2-4 miles a day, not drinking anything caffeinated and drinking maybe a beer or glass of wine a day.

Other than the insomnia being worse than ever (never sleeping more than 2 hours at a time), I feel OK.  No depression, just frustration.  I have tried Melatonin and it does nothing for me.  Ditto Benedryl.  Ditto Valerian. Ditto a white noise machine. Ditto a variety of specialty pillows. Ditto wearing orange safety glasses for a bit in the evening to cut out "blue light" (though I'm still giving that odd trick a try). Ditto buying a high-end mattress 10 years ago after 17 years of a water bed. Ditto not having a phone in the bedroom. Ditto...well, you think of any odd sleep trick and I've probably tried it over the last 10 years.

I do break down and take Nyqil once a week as that helps a little. Sometimes, having some tuna as a snack in the evening seems to help due to tryptophan. 

The only side effect (other than sleeplessness) from getting off of Ambien I've had is craving sweets.  I'm walking enough that I haven't gained any weight, but I'm currently not loosing either. Ambien was also a very slight appetite suppressant for me and helped me lose about 30 pounds while I was on it.

The insomnia I'm having now is somewhat different from the insomnia I was having pre-Ambien.  Ten years ago, I'd sleep 3-4 hours, wake up for 2 then, sometimes, sleep for an hour.  Now, It takes me an hour to fall asleep, I wake up 4-6 times a night and I haven't slept for more than 2 hours at a time in over a month.

During the day, it is pretty much the same as when I was on Ambien.  Some days, I get a lot of things done.  Other days, I get very little done.  My concentration is, generally, a little better when I can concentrate, so that's a good sign.

So, during a particularly bad bout of insomnia tonight, I went to our computer and looked up "Ambien withdrawl."  I ran into some pretty bad horror stories.  I'm having a somewhat different experience than many.  I don't feel depressed, suicidal or confused. I'm just very tired.  The fact that my insomnia is so different means that I agree with the point many of have made - Ambien can alter the sleep receptors.  I never had any of the bad side effects of Ambien people mention - no sleep walking, no sleep eating - other than not remembering dreams.  And I'm still not dreaming. I did have those odd "shocky" feelings at night sometimes, but those are also reported by menopausal women who aren't on Ambien.

The root cause of my insomnia is probably due to estrogen.  My mother had terrible insomnia in her 40s, but it got better in her 50s, and she said her grandmother had the same experience.  So I'm hoping, now that I'm through menopause as well, that that will also help get my sleep back into some sort of normal pattern.

But, it turns out that a few people who had warned me about Ambien were right - it is addictive and it can change your brain in ways you don't expect.

For a lot of discussion on Ambien addiction/recovery, see http://www.topix.com/forum/drug/ambien/T8MMMFNQIK6VHJOV6.  I only wish I'd started reading this area five years ago.

PS (10/28/12): No Ambien for nearly 7 weeks and my sleep is more disrupted now than it was before I took Ambien. Very annoying. Melatonin does nothing. Nyqil helps a little but I only take that one night a week. And now, there's a link between taking sleeping pills like Ambien and cancer.

PPS (3/15/13): No Ambien in over 6 months. Sometimes, I'm sleeping up to 3 hours at a time once during the night, which is a gradual improvement. I generally get about 5 hours of sleep a night with one or two brief wake-ups, but some nights get only 2 or 3 hours of sleep for no reason at all. On the down side, I've gained about 15 pounds since September, but the carbohydrate cravings are getting better so I'm being more "mindful" about my eating. I rarely drink soda (don't have any at home) but sometimes have Diet Coke or mocha drinks when I'm out. Still averaging 2 miles of walking a day. Am writing a little more some days.

Creeps in Society

I would like to be surprised by the way some people are trying to redefine the word "creep."  One person's bad behavior shouldn't deserve being called "the creep," as if he was somehow unique.  Many fans have creepy behavior.

I can think of three types of creepiness:

•      personally creepy
•      generally creepy
•      specifically creepy

Personally creepy is what creeps you out.  It may not creep out anyone else in the world.  Take clowns.  I enjoy clowns, they are generally amusing and often acrobatic.  Now, maybe it was in response to Killer Klowns from Outer Space or It, but, about 20 years ago, people started to say that clowns creeped them out. I still don't understand that one.  I was in the situation for most of the summer of being majorly creeped out by my own body after surgery.  I hate looking at incisions.  In fact, I would not look at my incision if I could possibly avoid it.  As fascinating as medicine has always been to me, I could never consider a career in medicine because of this problem.  But it doesn't seem to bother medical professionals that much.  So I know my response was my problem.

Generally creepy is behavior that people engage in without thinking about it and it's not aimed at any individual.  Wearing clothes inappropriate to a situation, for example, not bathing regularly...general behavior we can point at and say "Weird."  But it's just the way the person is.  We can either accept it or reject it.

Specifically creepy is when one person does something to another that really creeps the second person out.  This happens from time to time in personal interactions, and is more likely to happen when one person is attracted to another, and completely misreads the situation.

Take that Readercon situation again. I respect the fact the man involved really creeped out one specific woman during Readercon. I believe the woman who brought the complaint about him. Given the Readercon rules of conduct, she did the right thing.  But, an awful lot of people have chosen to go beyond being sympathetic and helpful to the woman to being outraged and therefore generally creeped out.   They are trying to project their feelings of outrage on the rest of us by blowing this unfortunate situation out of all proportion.

What's next - burquas? Male bodyguards? Being forced to stay home to avoid the possible outrage of a man making a pass?   Now that's really creepy.

Related postings:

They Said/They Said
Dealing with Anonymous and/or Abusive Comments
Sexual Abuse and the Pillars of Society

Dealing with Anonymous and/or Abusive Comments

I do not engage in any conversation in my blog with anonymous posters.  I normally delete such messages without even reading them.  I started to read an anonymous poster's response to "They Said/They Said" and stopped when the person presumed to tell me how I should feel about things.  If you wish to attack me or anyone else, have the courage of your convictions and sign your name.  Life is too short to enable cowards.

I also don't like abusive comments.  They make me uncomfortable.  If someone makes you uncomfortable, it is OK to say "this makes me uncomfortable" and end the conversation there.  So I won't be enabling abusive commenters here either.

In the case of anonymous (no E-mail) and abusive comments, I guess I can't respond to them personally, but that's no great loss.

Related postings

They Said/They Said
Creeps in Society
Sexual Abuse and the Pillars of Society

They Said/They Said and Plunging all Fandom Into War

[[Error correction - when I first posted this essay, I called it "He Said/She Said"  Not long afterwards, I realized that this title was completely wrong.  Only a few people doubt what she or he said in relation to what happened at Readercon this year.  The real problem has been what "they" said to further incite the situation.  OK, and I may be a "they" in this case, but I would really rather see reasonable discussion of this problem rather than general ranting, which is, sadly, what has often been happening.]]

I've been very active in science fiction fandom since 1975.   We science fiction fans are generally people who love to read, love to speculate and love to argue.  But...an awful lot of us are socially awkward and/or bad tempered.  We don't always read people well.  To use a Big Bang Theory analogy, there are many Leonards and Howards in fandom, and a few Sheldons, and not too many Rajs.  And these archetypes exist in both genders in fandom.

When I got involved, there weren't that many women in fandom. However, I always felt very safe in fandom.  I can think of a couple of times having long discussions with men, sometimes in their hotel rooms during SF conventions.  A few of them came onto me - a kiss, a grope, whatever.  I said no, and we just resumed our conversation.  No meant no, but an unwanted kiss did not mean I'd just been raped.  Fannish men were smart, right?  Fannish women knew how to stand up for themselves, right? By contrast, during my freshman year in college, I knew two women who'd been raped, and a third who was probably raped but was too drunk to know for sure (that was in a fraternity basement).  At the same time, I never heard about a woman being raped at a con.

People in fandom seemed more enlightened about gender issues than people (especially men) outside of fandom.  Generally, but not always.  There was always a lot of discussion about the patriarchy and the move towards equality among some groups of us. The number of women now active in fandom approaches 50%, which is great.

However, there are some trends in fandom that are making me uncomfortable. In particular, there was a recent incident at Readercon which was unfortunate, has been blown up way out of all proportion for a number of reasons.

The basic overview - man follows woman, puts an arm around her, she says no, he follows her some, trying to apologize  (I think he was sent away 2 or 3 times).  I believe the woman involved, because of the way she described the man's actions.  I've known the man for years, and can see him reacting in the way she described - he was really trying to apologize, and she just wanted to be left alone, which was her right.

This incident, which probably happens at every convention every weekend, was blown up because the woman's friends got very angry at the man, but also because Readercon has a conduct code, and, according to the code, the man should have been banned from Readercon permanently.  Instead, he was banned for two years, which caused a huge overreaction.

Here are just a few of the things I've heard about this incident:

• The man was likened to an infamous alleged child sex rapist who was very active in fandom until he got into trouble with the law.  For various reasons, his case has never gone to trial.  
• A Hugo-award winner was criticized for mentioning the name of her longtime friend in her acceptance speech, who happened to be the man involved in the Readercon incident.
• Some people have stated the man did nothing wrong.
• Some people think he should be banned from all conferences for all time.

I'm very much in the middle on this issue - while the man clearly misbehaved, I don't think he did anything close to being banned from all conventions for all time.  But, to liken stupid behavior by a man to a man accused of child rape is particularly enraging. Rape is rape - a bad pick-up line isn't rape.

We need to try to be respectful of each other, but if we can't be respectful, we should just walk away sometimes.  I got involved in two arguments I didn't really want to get involved in again at Chicon.  In both cases, I walked.

I am going to try to walk away from arguing about the Readercon incident in the future.  I've made my argument, I've said my piece, and I don't believe this incident should be plunging all fandom into war.

But, if there can be reasonable discussion of some of the issues around men and women in fandom, I'd like to be a part of it.  We can't be afraid of each other.  Sadly, the level of vitriol around this incident can set the general egalitarianism in fandom back by decades.

Related posts:

• Creeps in Society
• Dealing with Anonymous and/or Abusive Comments
• Sexual Abuse and the Pillars of Society

Ground Rules

I generally agree with Don D'Ammassa's "Ground Rules," though I'm at the point where I don't read Websites like Fox News or other sites not based in reality. I know all of the following are nothing but right wing propaganda: 

• Barack Obama was not born in the US.
• The CIA or other government agency was behind the 9/11 attack.
• Creationism should be taught in schools.
• Being gay is a choice.
• Global warming is a hoax (the extent of human involvement is, on the other hand, a legitimate area of argument).
• The Holocaust did not happen.
• Obama's health care plan included death panels.
• A woman's body can make a rapist's sperm not impregnate her.
• The government is going to take away your guns (I sincerely hope they will limit the kinds of guns/ammunition sold, but that's a different issue).
• Birth control is not health care.
• Americans are taxed now more than ever and taxes for the richest should be decreased even further (there's no evidence from recent tax cuts that "trickle down" helps the economy - it just puts more money in the hands if the rich)

Blast from my USENET Past: Sexual Abuse and the Pillars of Society

[[Another in an occasional series of republishing some of my old USENET essays (in this case, someone reminded me about this as I'd forgotten it). Sadly, its even more relevant now than it was back in 1992, particularly when you think of the Jerry Sandusky case at Penn State. Some attitudes never change]]

Last week, a former Catholic priest admitted to a reporter that he had raped between 50 and 100 children in Massachusetts churches in the early '60s. This week, a local minister goes to court, accused of raping three exchange students living  in his house. 

We, as a society, have a terrible time dealing with child abuse, especially child sexual abuse.  We may admit that sexually-warped characters exist in the seamy underside of society, among the poor, the drug abusers and the prostitutes.  But when accused sexual abusers are among the "pillars" of society, among the clergy, doctors, police, and educators, people become apoplectic.  The accusation of sexual abuse, especially when the accused is a "good man," forces most into absolute denial of the issue.

As a society, we have to be willing to listen when our children or our friends tell us that they are being abused.  We have to support the people bringing the allegations, and, when the allegations are proven in court, we must be willing to sentence the perpetrators to long jail terms and to develop programs that attempt to rehabilitate them.

We must all do what we can to stop the attitudes that promote sexual abuse. These attitudes include:

the idea that people own one another.  A husband does not own his wife, parents do not own their children, and youth leaders do not own the children in their care.
the "blame the victim" mentality.  Children do not seduce adults, and a woman in a miniskirt is not an invitation to a rape.
the "if I want sex, I'll get it" mentality.  Sex should be an act between consenting adults, not a power play between individuals, one of whom may be too young or too scared to resist.
the "pillar of society" trap.  In a community's haste to "be fair to" the accused, the victim is often ridiculed, harassed, and blamed for the situation

Our society makes it almost impossible for victims to come forward.  But the consequence of our silence is tacit permission, leading to even greater tragedies.  A few years ago, in Massachusetts, a middle-aged man took to   picking up teenaged hitchhikers and exposing himself to them.  He raped at   least one of them. No one ever reported him. 

When his 13-year-old neighbor vanished, he helped to search for her. The teenager's body was later found in his cellar.  If one of his previous victims had felt comfortable coming forward, Melissa Benoit might still be alive, and Henry Meinholz might have gotten into treatment.  Instead, this ex-church deacon has been sentenced to life in prison without parole, and the judge regretted the lack of a death penalty.

Sexually abusers are sick, but they are not usually insane.  Sexual abusers need to be held accountable for their crimes, and they need to be rehabilitated.  And we, as members of this society, must take a more active role in discouraging sexual abuse, encouraging its prosecution, and supporting sexual abuse survivors.

Related postings:

They Said/They Said
Creeps in Society
Dealing with Anonymous and/or Abusive Comments

My Chicon Panels

I'll be on a couple of panels at Worldcon:

Thu Aug 30 12:00:pm-1:30:pm 

How to Moderate a Panel

Addams

Veteran panelists discuss how to be an effective panel moderator, and offer suggestions on things to avoid.

Janice Gelb Laurie Mann Teresa Nielsen Hayden

Thu Aug 30 4:30:pm -6:00:pm 

So You Think You Want to Run a Convention?

McCormick

A panel on the basics of con-planning and con-running.

Deb Geisler Howard Scrimgeour Laurie Mann Milt Stevens Vincent Docherty

Sun Sep 2 12:00:pm-1:30:pm

Science Fiction In Memoriam

Haymarket

A remembrance of authors, fans, artists, and actors who the science fiction community has lost since we last convened at Renovation.

Laurie Mann Mike Glyer Steven H Silver

Sun Sep 2 3:00:pm-4:30:pm

Worldcon Heritage Project

Fannish history exhibits are a way to connect fans of the present with mementos of the past. The Worldcon Heritage Project is working to collect, catalogue, and repair the publications, T-shirts, and other items from Worldcons past.

Kevin Standlee Laurie Mann Mark Olson

Tale of Two...GROAN...Three Surgeries

Original Version: February 1978
Updated: July 2007
Updated Again: July 2012

2007 was a bad year for health issues in our household. Leslie started off the year on January 3 with her car accident (not her fault), and we got to know the Emergency Room over at Ohio Valley Hospital. Jim's had some annoying neck pain, so he's been over there for tests. And, since January, I had chronic pelvic pain. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts in March. I'd had ovarian cysts removed previously in 1978. It turns out ovarian cysts are very common in DES daughters; my sister and I, both DES daughters, have had them twice during our lifetimes (so far).
2012 was a rotten year for me healthwise. Cysts came back big time. So...this essay is a comparison of how ovarian cyst surgery was done in 1978, and how it was done in 2007, and if the process changed any in 2012.
What follows is probably way too much information about medical conditions, so don't say you weren't warned. Or just skip to here, where I talk about how the surgeries were different.

---

1977-1978: In about October of '77, I had a routine gynecological check-up and was told I seemed to have some sort of growth near my left ovary. The doctor said he thought it was a cyst, and told me to get a sonargram. A few weeks later, the sonargram confirmed the cyst. The doctor prescribed surgery, and I wound up scheduling it for my 21st birthday.
The cyst was mostly asymptomatic, though I was working a sales job where I stood up most of the time, and I had occasional dizzy spells. That might also have been from stress over the surgery, as I'd never had surgery any more serious than a tonsilectomy before.
The afternoon before surgery, I went to Magee Women's Hospital and had prep done - lung X-ray, blood tests, more exams. As Magee was a teaching hospital, I had my pelvic exam observed by a bunch of interns, which was kind of embarrassing. I was a little concerned about all the consent forms I had to sign, because they basically said I was signing away all future reproductive rights if they found cancer. I couldn't not sign, but reminded the doctor I did have hopes of having a child some day.
I think I was in one room pre-surgery, and was in another room post-surgery. Unlike almost everyone else on the floor, I felt fine. I remember talking to the woman across the hall who was scheduled for a late term abortion the next day. She was very sick and had several small children at home already (she'd pretty much gotten the "having this baby will kill you" talk). Whenever I hear about medical procedures getting politicized, I think of her.
After various other surgical prep in the evening, they gave me a sleeping pill and I slept pretty well. Early in the morning, they took me into surgery, and I don't remember anything until I woke up in the recovery room. I think I was told that everything was OK, and I'd just had a cyst. I was in recovery for a couple of hours, then brought to a new room. I don't remember too much about the first day, other than Jim and a friend from our club, Dave, stopping by. The reason why Dave could stop in so soon after surgery was because he was a student minister; clergy could pretty much come and go in the hospital as they pleased.
Next day, I was detached from various tubes and encouraged to walk, which I did. I remember being extremely sore and unsteady walking, but I practiced faithfully. The surgical floor was near the obstetrics floor, so I'd pass by the nursery and look at the babies. Periodically, someone would check my dressing or take my temperature. Meals included soup and Jello (which I avoid). I don't remember what I was given for pain; I only had a standard IV for hydration, and, periodically, a nurse would shoot various drugs into a tube in the IV. Twice a day, I'd get a vitamin K shot in my abdomen. I learned you can't cough or laugh after you have abdominal surgery. Let me correct that - you have to cough, but you have to cough carefully. It's important to cough to keep your lungs clear so you don't develop pneumonia. But you need to avoid coughing using all the muscles in your abdomen.
Seeing my roommate's condition spurred me to keep walking. My roommate was much older than me and had to have a total hysterectomy. She had her surgery the day after I did. I never saw her get out of bed over the next few days, and she wound up getting a special breathing apparatus to help keep her lungs clear. I'm not sure what happened to her afterwards, but I wouldn't have been surprised to learn that she didn't recover.
So after about five days of hanging out in the hospital, I went home. A nurse removed the top layer of stitches (this was a "bikini scar" - horizontal) which kind of tickled in a funny way. I was still a little sore, and getting in and out of bed at home was really tough (our bed in those days was very low). As my job involved standing and carrying things, I couldn't go back to work for a month, even though I was only working part time.

---

2007: Early in January, I started having pelvic pain not related to my period. This was very depressing, as my periods had been getting very painful, and to be in pain almost every day was annoying. And it was yet something else to disturb my sleep. Between the move and everything else that went on last year, I hadn't seen a gynecologist in nearly two years. Luckily, it turned out there was one nearby, and I arranged to see her in early March. Dr. Rosado thought I probably had a cyst. "Been there, done that."
She sent me for a sonargram. Sonargrams haven't changed a whole lot over the last 30 years, except for the addition of the "transvaginal probe." Think vibrator-like device on a wire, that provides a slightly different angle on the pelvis. The sonargram tech said she found at least three cysts near the right ovary, one uterine fibroid, but nothing that looked particularly bad (tumors tend to show up as dense spots on sonargrams, while cysts are more diffuse). They said I had to go back for a follow-up sonargram in about two months, to make sure the cysts didn't just go away. Apparently, in some cases, they do.
So I arranged for a follow-up test and waited. The pain wasn't all that bad most of the time, but it was chronic. I wound up having to take Aleve about twice a week when it got particularly bad. The cysts showed up again on the May sonargram. And then I was told it might be another six months of wait and see, since they weren't getting any bigger.
*Groan*
My gynecologist sent me for additional tests to make sure that we were only dealing with cysts. Additional tests sometimes make some straightforward things not so straightforward. And, after the second sonargram, I started having pain on the left side as well as on the right. But the good thing about the extra tests was that they, temporarily, put me on the fast-track for surgery. I was hoping to have a laparoscopy, but my doctor said I'd need a full incision as I was now having pain on both sides.
So surgery was scheduled and I went for pre-op tests - a chest X-ray, an EKG and blood work. But then other insurance issues, and my doctor's busy-ness (she's an OB/GYN and a surgeon) kept delaying the surgery. In the middle of all this, I saw Sicko. I was very relieved my insurance company did not appear anywhere in the documentary! I can deal with being jerked around, and even delays, both of which were very annoying, but it's not nearly so annoying as ultimately being denied care.
Finally, surgery was confirmed by the insurance company, the doctor and the hospital. My doctor tends to be fairly conservative, and I did say I'd prefer to have the bare minimum removed. She thought I'd have to have one ovary removed because it looked like some of the cysts were actually in the right ovary. But unless she saw major problems (like cancer), she thought it was unlikely I'd have anything else beyond the cysts and an ovary taken out. Being older and having had a child, I didn't feel quite as uncomfortable about signing the surgical permission forms this time. I also felt better because my gynecologist and my surgeon was the same person, rather than being two different people. And I think it helps to have a woman do gynecological surgery, because I suspect they'd be a little more conservative in this area than a man might be.
I spent the night before surgery at home, not eating, and drinking the ever popular "Go-Litely" (if you've had a colonoscopy, you know the drill). We had to get up at 4:30 the next morning, so I could get to the hospital by 5:30.
The OB/GYN floor at Ohio Valley was new and very quiet. I had a room at the very end of the hall; at the time I thought that was because there were many patients there. However, the hall was almost empty. All the rooms appeared to be private rooms, which was very nice. I'd never had a private room in a hospital before.
Two nurses came in to help get me ready for surgery. I have tough veins to find, and I hadn't been allowed to drink anything after midnight. So I was dehydrated, which makes the veins even harder to find. Getting an IV line inserted is tougher than just drawing blood, and the nurses tried three times before giving up.
You also have to keep repeating who you are, what your doctor's name is and what surgery you're about to have. I remember meeting with the anesthesiologist and talking to him briefly. My doctor stopped in to say hi, and then I was wheeled off to surgery. They finally got the IV in and I was out pretty fast after that.
I remember waking up while I was still intubated, which was psychologically tough for me to handle. I remember my doctor saying everything was fine, but was too upset by the breathing tube to be calm at that moment. I was taken to recovery, and went through about the longest 10 minutes of my life (I have a terrible gag reflex). Finally, they decided I was awake enough to be extubated, which was tough but fast.
I was only in recovery about an hour, and I was much more comfortable once I was breathing on my own. There was a guy to my left, and at one point two heavily gowned nurses brought a patient with a staph infection (a jolly thing to hear in a recovery room!). Before I left recovery, Dr. Rosado gave me the good news in great detail - the cysts weren't in my ovaries at all, so she didn't need to remove either ovary. But the right Fallopian tube was filled with fluid and twisted, so she removed that tube and the cysts. Some of my pelvic pain had been caused by endometriel adhesions, most of which she removed. It turns out I have endometriosis, which shouldn't be a huge deal since I don't plan to have any more kids and menopause generally stops endometriosis. But that does help to explain why I have such bad menstrual cramps every month.
Back in my room, I just laid back and watched TV. I called Jim (I'd foolishly only given the hospital his work number and not his cell phone, which meant they couldn't get through since he was always in phone meetings). He was relieved everything was fine and went around notifying folks (I'd left my cell phone home; it generally didn't work in the hospital anyway).
This time, I was on a morphine drip for pain relief. It's the sort of thing that administers morphine in your IV, but if you feel particularly uncomfortable, you can press a button and get a tiny hit. I can't say morphine did anything for me other than suppress the pain and give me an odd sense of time. So I was in bed all of Friday. Jim and Leslie came to visit in the evening; the only other patient on the floor went home that afternoon. It was very quiet. But I slept very poorly. The ventilation was very noisy, and I was in some plastic leggings that inflated and deflated to help prevent clots. They also helped prevent sleep!
I finally fell asleep and woke up with a little headache and general sinus discomfort. When a nurse came in to take my blood pressure and temperature early in the morning, I asked if I could have some saline nasal spray (remember, this isn't a medicine). She said the doctor would have to order it (sigh).
Dr. Rosado stopped in around 8:30 or so, and she said I was looking good enough that I could get generally detached from bags and IVs and the like and could start to eat again. I told her my sinuses were acting up, and she said Jim could bring in saline spray and Pseudofedrine. She also removed my dressing and said everything looked fine. This time, I have a vertical incision a few inches below my navel. With staples. Now, they take the dressings off early, and you have to look at it to make sure it's not infected. I don't like to look at incisions, but take a quick look at my reflection (I know, this is silly, but...) when I'm in the bathroom. So far, it looks uninfected. The staples come out on Thursday.
Once off the IVs, I took Percoset about every four hours. It does a good job suppressing the worst of the pain. There was some incision pain, but it was minor. And I've found walking and moving around much easier than last time. Not sure if it's because I knew what to expect this time, or if the pain medication is better at relieving the pain while leaving you reasonably steady on your feet. Or maybe a vertical abdominal incision is ultimately less painful than a horizontal incision (which gives better cosmetic results). However, they do tell you not to drive while you're on Percoset, and since I'll be on Percoset for about 10 days, I can't drive until late July.
The main weird side effects I had post-surgery had nothing to do with the surgery itself. My blood pressure has stayed high throughout my hospitalization, to the point that they couldn't use the standard automatic blood pressure cuff on my starting on Saturday night. My right arm still has bruises from the automatic-inflate cuff. They started using the old fashion hand-pump pressure cuff and got results that were high. My doctor prescribed blood pressure medication, which brought my blood pressure down in about 12 hours.
Worse than that, after Dr. Rosado said I could go home Sunday morning, I developed a horrible migraine. I hadn't had a migraine so bad in a few years (for that matter, I hadn't had any kind of a migraine since our cat died (I was very allergic to her)). Since my blood pressure had been so erratic, I couldn't take a Pseudofed (my migraines are always related to sinus problems and Pseudofed helps). They gave me Coricidan, and I sat with Jim my darkened room for about an hour until the worst of the nausea went away and the headache diminished slightly. Hot compresses also helped some. But I was surprised that the worst pain I had during the whole hospitalization was from the migraine, not from the surgery. And I still don't quite understand why the Percoset did almost nothing for the migraine.
About an hour after Jim arrived, I was ready to go home, but I was so uncomfortable that I sat with my eyes closed and my head in my hands when my doctor stopped by to say so long. She said I could stay longer if I needed to, but I reminded her that since I thought the hospital air was causing the migraine, I'd rather go home. After an afternoon of sitting on a chair in the family room with hot compresses, the headache finally went away at about 4pm.
Now I'm three days post-op, I feel a little dazed and slightly in pain, but I wound up taking a walk around the block twice today (this "block" is nearly half a mile). Today I'm treating myself to watching all of the LOTR movies and doing some minor Web catch-up. I think I'm writing reasonably coherently (maybe a bit much on the "TMI" side, but I did warn you).

 

---

 
2008-2012: The ovarian cysts came back about a year after the second surgery. Since I assumed I was getting ever closer to menopause, I felt I would wait them out this time. I kept changing gynecologists because they kept telling me the same thing - more surgery. After 2008, I didn't have any major trouble with the cysts, so I had a sonogram every year to make sure they didn't grow. Gradually felt a little worse over the winter of 2012 with more pelvic pain. On March 12 (Jim's birthday), I felt awful, with severe pelvic pain, diarrhea and a urinary tract infection all at once. I went to a doctor for some tests and had to choose another new gynecologist who could see me that week. I was miserable and even spent a few days on the couch or in bed, not really doing anything than trying to make it to the bathroom. The new gynecologist, Dr. Rock, sent me for tests. A cyst we'd been watching for four years had grown from 3cm to 12cm over the last year.
And that meant surgery.
I did decide to defer the surgery until after a long-planned trip to Alaska was over, as sometimes it can take longer than 2 months to be fully recovered from a hysterectomy.  This turned out to be OK as the pain/illness from March was much better in April, May and June.
 

---

July 2012 Surgery

I had a complete hysterectomy on 7/12. I had other issues in addition to the cysts, and since I was 55, I was in agreement with my doctor that I needed to have one - that waiting for menopause to finish wasn't going to work. The surgery went pretty well, though it was more complicated and I was under anesthesia for about 4 1/2 hours. I was very nauseated when they woke me up (and, luckily for me, they had extubated me before waking me up), muttered "nausea" and they gave me something for the nausea right away, so I didn't throw up.
As I've lost over 20 pounds since 2007, walk more, eat better, and take a Benicar every day, my blood pressure was very well controlled. No BP spikes this time.
I brought saline spray for my nose and used it frequently once I was in my room after surgery. I also had arranged for a standing order of anti-migraine drug (probably Compazine) that I could take if I developed one. I did have mild sinus discomfort about 2 days post-op and a little headache, but no migraine!
Getting over a hysterectomy is more involved than getting over a cyst surgery. I'm still walking slowly, but I've generally had less pain than in previous surgeries, which seems counter-intuitive. 2 1/2 weeks post-op, I stopped taking 200mg of Ibuprophen at night.
Lost another 5 pounds since the surgery. I was told to eat whatever I wanted to, including more red meat, so I've been doing what I was told. Just walking about a mile a day. Have a follow-up with my surgeon on 8/1, and should be cleared to drive at that time (which I was).
Felt well enough to go to Confluence about 2 weeks post-op, which I enjoyed even though I was in my room more than usual and left around noon on Sunday. It was just good to get out and see people. I should be more with things by Chicon.
8/7
Feeling pretty good and am walking about 2 1/2 miles a day.  Incision is healing slowly but it is healing.  Surprisingly little pain - a few twinges, that kind of thing.  Felt better than pre-surgery on 8/6 as I spent the morning out running errands and had lunch out.  Also bought myself a gift - a new knapsack as the old one is about 10 years old and is getting frayed.  Today, I am tired, but have been doing some light housecleaning and watching Third Rock from the Sun DVDs.

---

The main differences for the same surgery between 1978 and 2007/2012 were:

• more pre-op testing
• more surgery delays (in 2007, due to insurance; in 2012, due to my wanting to wait until after the Alaska trip)
• better pain management in 2007 (the self-administered option is probably a good idea), tolerable in 2012
• many fewer nights in the hospital
• private room
• radically different wound management (removing the dressing after 24 hours; staples instead of stitches)
• woman surgeon (2007), male surgeons (1978, 2012)
• better hospital food in 2007 (Ohio Valley made a lovely BBQ pulled pork sandwich and didn't serve Jello!), but the one solid meal I had at UPMC Mercy in 2012 was a massive plate of carbs and the glueist oatmeal I have ever tried to eat
• in 2012 at UPMC Mercy, nurses came in every few hours to take your BP, which was less annoying than being on a autocuff overnight. However, I didn't sleep the first night after surgery in 2007 or 2012 due to being required to wear "pneumatic boots" to prevent formation of blood clots.
• The recovery room at UPMC Mercy had windows. Even though it was a dreary day out, having some connection to the outside world during recovery was very nice.

I was bored out of my mind by 5 or 6 nights in the hospital the last time; 2 nights in 2007 and 2012 was just about right.

Pathology Report

I also finally remembered to ask for my pathology report. I thought sure I also had fibroids, but I guess not:

• Adenomyosis (enlarged uterus - 231 grams (60-70 is normal)
• Proliferative endometrium (meaning I still could have had a period if I hadn't had a hysterectomy)
• Unremarkable cervix (with a tiny cervical opening)
• Abscessed left ovary
• Lutein cyst and follicular cysts of right ovary (the largest cyst was 6cm, meaning one had shrunk since the March sonogram found a 12cm cyst)
• Unremarkable Fallopian tubes (though the pathologist could only identify one tube and said the other tube was difficult to discern. One had also been partially removed in 2008).

Related Postings

July 2013: My Uterus - A Look Back

Blast from my USENET Past: Women's Clothing

I joined USENET newsgroups in April 1988 due to the good graces of Massachusetts-based geek Jim Murray.  He was running USENET on a home system and wanted to offer it to others.

I'm pretty sure I made a USENET post or two on Rodney King back in 1991, but I haven't been able to find them.  But I did find some other old posts.  So, from time to time, I'll go back and grab old posts I made.  There was no date attached to this posting, but, based on the signature, it was from the spring or early summer of 1993 (before we moved to Pittsburgh).  The issue I was complaining about here is something I've never changed my opinion on:

Downloaded from a USENET archive:  http://fooo.fr/~vjeux/epita/search/20news-bydate-train/rec.autos/101603

From: lmann@jjmhome.UUCP (Laurie Mann)

Subject: Clothing (Was  Re: male/female mystery [ Re: Dumbest automotive...])

Lines: 41

In article <1pima2INN180@gap.caltech.edu>, wen-king@cs.caltech.edu (Wen-King Su) writes:

> This has me thinking.  Is there a biological reason why women can't put

> their keys in their pants pockets like men do?  I have two pockets on the

> back of each of my pants.  I put my keys in one and wallent in another.

> Many of the pockets even have a botton on them so I can close them securely.

> Everything is that much simpler for me.  Why can't women do the same?

> Is is biological (ie, not enough room for a bigger bottom plus keys and

> a wallet) or is it the way they are raised by the parents? 

Oh PULLEEZE!

It's not biology at all, it's clothing design.  Women's clothing is

generally designed to be as non-functional as possible.  It's only been

in the last five years or so that you could buy women's pants with

pockets deep enough to carry anything in.  Previously, deep pockets were

virtually unknown in women's clothing.  Skirts generally have better

pockets now, too.  Dresses, espcially fancy dresses, are still pretty

hopeless.  I often hand my driver's license over to my husband if we're

dressed up to go out somewhere, so I don't have to be encumbered by a

purse.

If women consistently bought functional clothing, and boycotted the

manufacturers who refuse to make functional women's clothing, I think

manufacturers would tend to bow to market pressures.  There's

an interesting chapter in Susan Faludi's Backlash that described

what happened the LAST time clothing manufacturers ignored the

need for functional women's clothing.  The manufactuing industry

lost millions.

From a woman who would rather buy men's clothing WITH decent pockets and

long legs and high waists than women's clothing without....

-- 

******** lmann@jjmhome.uucp (Internet) Laurie.Mann (GEnie) *********

** Claiming that sex education leads to irresponsible sex is like **

*****  claiming that driver education leads to car accidents.  *****

Rodney King, 1965-2012

I think Rodney was basically a decent man who did some bad things but was treated horribly by many people in Los Angeles. The cops used him as an excuse to savagely beat a black man. Angry people used his trial as an excuse to behave savagely. On the day of the LA riots 20 years ago, King could have gone into hiding, but instead, clearly very shaken, stood before the cameras and begged for calm. He could look beyond the injustice done to him to ask people to not do injustice to others.

Write Your Representatives to Keep Student Loan Rates Low

Dear Representative Murphy


I'm writing to ask you to think of a clever way to keep student college loan rates low.

It is not at all surprising that Republicans are suggesting "raiding a slush fund," this "slush fund" being money set aside for preventative medical care for women and children.  Please remind me why we're not supposed to believe that you Republicans are waging a war against women, when your leaders like Boehner want to fund student loans by defunding medical care.

Why aren't you funding student loans by defunding subsidies to industries making obscene profits, like much of the oil & gas companies and factory farms?

Middle class and poor college students need cheap college loans.  It frequently looks like the Republicans want a permanently  uneducated underclass without health care.  Remember, while you have won your district in the past, many of the people you are supposed to be representing are not Republicans.



*****

Dear Representative Boehner



I'm writing to ask you to think of a clever way to keep student college loan rates low.

It is not at all surprising that you have suggested "raiding a slush fund," this "slush fund" being money set aside for preventative medical care for women and children.  Please remind me why we're not supposed to believe that you Republicans are waging a war against women, when people like you want to fund student loans by defunding medical care.

Why aren't you funding student loans by defunding subsidies to industries making obscene profits, like much of the oil & gas companies and factory farms?

Middle class and poor college students need cheap college loans.  It frequently looks like the Republicans want a permanently  uneducated underclass without health care.  Remember, while you have won your district in the past, many of the people you are supposed to be representing are not Republicans.