On Writing...

I didn't just tinker yesterday - I wrote over 1,000 words. I haven't written that much fiction at once in a long time. And I've added about another 500 words today, so far.

I've battled writers block for nearly 30 years. As a result, I haven't really submitted very much, and focused on writing at work (which generally went fine) and Web writing (which has generally come pretty easily to me).

Most of the fiction writing I've done since 1973 has been SF/horror, mostly short bits and story outlines. Four years ago, when I was finishing up my long-delayed BA and taking a wonderful writing class with Chuck Kinder at Pitt, I started writing a contemporary novel. I've worked on it a little at a time since then, and, at one point, didn't look at it for a year. A few months ago I looked at it and found it really had possibilities, but, other than a little tinkering, I just wasn't writing then.

A few weeks ago, while sick, I was watching daytime TV and heard Jennifer Weiner talk on the Jane Pauley Show. I remembered seeing her book, Good in Bed, while I was working at Borders and thought it looked amusing. What I didn't realize was that it had a fat protagonist, and she discussed this point in detail. I also started reading her blog that day and enjoyed her writing. But would her book mean I shouldn't even bother to finish my novel, which also featured the humourous/amorous observations of a fat, female protagonist?

So I bought Good in Bed and started reading it. It's, on the whole, very funny and reasonably different from the book I've been writing. Without knowing it, I've been writing a response to her book. And maybe that's been helping me subconsciously - there's a market out there buying books with "nonstandard" heroines.

On Getting a Research Contract!

I've always loved doing research on the Web. Some of the Web sites I've put together, particularly Dead People Server, demonstrate that I'm pretty good at it. At one point a few years ago, I even started a Web page called "Fact Checker" in an effort to get some contract research jobs, but nothing came of it.

Last week, while perusing a site I'd looked at some, I noticed some errors and submitted corrections to the Webmaster. We started to correspond, I offered to lease him some Dead People Server content and do some additional research. Long story short, I've just finished my first research job for BrainyHistory and will continue to do some some jobs for them over the next few months. As I'd had a bad experience with telecommuting a few years ago, he even paid in advance, and I submitted my material on time (today). With a little luck, it might lead to some additional research contracting work.

I've been feeling better for about a week now, so I've been getting caught up on some miscellaneous stuff like taking my laptop to the shop, cleaning the office, doing some work for Interaction, and completing my first research job for money. I'm even starting to think about returning to my novel, something I've been tinkering with for about four years.

Allegheny County "Uncertified" Assessments - Way, Way, WAY OFF!!

Our county administrator, Dan Onorato, says that while initial assessments are available, they probably aren't the "real" assessments. He says, "his plan" would mean that real estate taxes would not rise by more than 4% on any property.

Well, that may be, but the "uncertified" assessment for my house is ludicriously high. How that will translate into taxes is uncertain.

So look at my house. It's a small house on a tiny, hilly lot, on the second busiest street of a suburb with a good school district. This house is not undergoing major renovations. Yet the "uncertified" assessment lept up an additional $41,000 in value IN ONE YEAR. And that was after "only" increasing in value $29,000 over the previous TEN YEARS. How logical is that? This isn't Boston, New York or San Francisco - housing prices increase very gradually.

I guess I'll have to call the tax office to complain tomorrow.

More Bad Ideas from Google

I've been a huge fan of Google for years, but given some their current projects, I've got to wonder if going public has been bad for them. Google used to be very ethical, but between gMail and AutoLink, I've got to wonder.

And the problem with both is the same thing - that Google can create links based on content according to what Google has decided upon, not upon what the page's writer has decided upon. This is just unbelievably slimey. As a result, I don't use gMail and never will, no matter how many "free accounts" I've been offered.

AutoLink is simultaneously "better" and "worse" than gMail. Many Google users will never see it. The only ones that will are those who use the GoogleToolbar. But, if you use the toolbar, you'll see links included on Web pages not intended by the Web page's creator.

Sorry, this is wrong. It looks like Google is going down that slippery slope that other search engines have gone down - making advertisers more important than content creators. I'm very disappointed by Google's behavior.

Oddly, I first read about AutoLink in this week's Time magazine. I went in search of scripts to kill AutoLink at my site, and found some at Threadwatch.org.

I guess that's what being out of the country then getting sick will do for you. I am doing a little better - I'm only really sick in the morning. By the afternoon, I start to feel better.

Oscar Stuff

To my surprise, I managed to stay awake until the Oscars were over.

I wrote up a bunch of comments on this year's Oscars, last year's Oscars, and how to make the Oscars shorter.

Best-Laid Plans...

I was laid off, and immediately started making plans for how I would spend my unemployment. First off is, of course, getting a new job. Then, getting caught up on some household projects. And helping the Interaction folks with the Program part of the Web site and drafting some press releases.

*sigh*

I felt pretty good while we were in Dublin. It wasn't too cold and we walked quite a bit. But, when we got to Boston last week, I had a migraine on Saturday, which pretty much blew most of that day for me (aside from a nice dinner with friends and getting to the Saturday night event at Boskone). By Monday, I had a rebound migraine and started having dizzy spells. My concentration was really shot. I felt a little better on Wednesday, and pushed myself to do an hour of brisk mall walking. I've felt rotten ever since. Finally, I went to the doctor's on Friday, said I thought I had a sinus infection. He took a look at me, decided I was right, and prescribed some heavy-duty antibiotics and prescription Sudafed. I've been on them for two days, and still feel worse, though I'm not running a fever or anything like that. The antibiotic has the annoying sside effect of making your mouth taste like metal. I hope I get over this pretty soon, beause I honestly don't like just sitting in the easy chair in front of the TV all day.

More Red State "Family Values"

Couldn't help but notice these two headlines on CNN this morning:

• Dad kills 2 kids, slits own throat


• Seven-month old sexually assaulted

It looks like an awful lot of kid murder/rape is going on in those red states. Y'know, those states where people say they are religious, vote Republican and talk about how evil feminists and homosexuals are. The states where people are too busy protesting the physical death of a woman who was brain dead almost 15 years ago to notice what's happening in their own neighborhoods. States where the divorce rate is surprisingly high, particularly when compared against blue states like Massachusetts. States where the social service net is growing ever smaller as the public is being brainwashed into believing that taxation and government intervention are greater evils than having a stable, supportive society.

People in red states will continue to believe their self-delusion that they are somehow more moral than those of us who eschew religion and believe that government services, particularly education and social services, should be well-funded.

Back from Ireland and Boston

When I asked Jim what he wanted to do for his 50th birthday this winter, he said "Go to Dublin." We did the math and figured we could swing it, even with the currently depressed dollar (and, as it turned out, my being laid off).

We had a nice trip with surprisingly little rain (it rains constantly in Ireland during the winter). I'll post some photos shortly.

Boston and Boskone were both a lot of fun, though I had a migraine the Saturday of Boskone, and again once I got home.

Comments on Saturday Night Live - 2/5/2005

I've been a pretty regular Saturday Night Live Fan (except for a few years in the early '80s and again in the mid '90s) for many years. I just watched Saturday's show, and had some comments I want to send along to the show. Unfortunately, the NBC Web site pretty much does not accept user feedback. So...

Paris Hilton is one of the most underwhelming "talents" of the day. She spent most of the show reading straight off the cue cards. That said, she was willing to make fun of her image, so, on the whole, she worked well as a host.

The "Fannish Phone Sex" skit was a gem. While most fannish men I've met aren't into those kinds of fantasies, the people who wrote the skit were quite familiar with the slang and made the most of it.

On the other hand, the attempted "yinzer" skit near the end showed that the Pittsburgh accent and attitude were pretty tricky to pull off. To understand a Pittsburgh accent, Seth Meyers should have listened to Dan Marino, whose yinzer accent is pretty much intact. If you didn't see the skit, Seth played a guy trying desperately to come onto Paris Hilton in a bar. Most people watching the skit probably thought he was from the south, because after he said "How'yinz doin'?" he launched into a southern accent. He went on to try to pick up Paris by talking about Bill Cowher, the Steelers coach. And he ended up the conversation by trying to give her his number, which started with "412." Now, it's true that many Pittsburgh men are into the Steelers the way that Paris Hilton is into fashion, so the skit was a cute idea. When the accents are obvious (Boston/New York/Chicago/Southern), these sorts of skits work well. But most people outside of Pittsburgh don't really understand the accent or are familiar with the slang.

Yet Another Net Test

In taking a break from sending out resumes today, I found a reference to the "What Book Are You?" quiz. Here are my results:

You're To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Perceived as a revolutionary and groundbreaking person, you have changed the minds of many people. While questioning the authority around you, you've also taken a significant amount of flack. But you've had the admirable guts to persevere. There's a weird guy in the neighborhood using dubious means to protect you, but you're pretty sure it's worth it in the end. In the end, it remains unclear to you whether finches and mockingbirds get along in real life. Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

Ironically, To Kill a Mockingbird has been one of my favorite books! The description of me according to the test is really more the way I'd like to be than the way I actually am (except for questioning authority, of course!).

Pilgrimage to Punxsutawney, Part II

To drive to Punxsutawney from Pittsburgh on any day, you have to leave here about two hours before you need to get there. It's really not so far away - about 90 miles or so - but about half the trip is across narrow country roads. And it was very dark. And I'd never driven on 119 during the day before, much less before dawn.

So I got up a little after 4 and was on the road by 4:45 this morning.

By the time I'd gotten to Punxsutawney, it was starting to get light.


Contrary to what you might have thought from the movie Groundhog's Day, Gobbler's Knob was over a mile and a half outside of town on what looked to be someone's farm. You needed to park your car at a nearby WalMart and take a shuttle bus over to the festivities. I got into the area in time to catch some of the fireworks.



By 6:45, it was up to 13 degrees Farenheit, but because there was no wind and about 18,000 people on Gobbler's Knob this morning, it wasn't really all that cold. The crowd was pretty rowdy, reported to be the largest non-weekend crowd ever. There was a raucous rendition of the Village People's "YMCA" and similar music all morning long. Unfortunately, I stood in the midst of some drunk teenagers, one of which kept accusing me of pinching him. Believe me, I've never found drunk boys a turn on!

Eventually, the Inner Circle (the guys in black coats and top hats) dragged Phil out of his tree stump, and, to the surprise of virtually no one, except for the drunk boys in my area, proclaimed he had indeed seen his shadow.



Nope, that was not a fur muff on the right of the picture, that was Phil himself. Yes, it was blurry as I was probably about 150 feet up the hill from the stage.

Once the weather prognostication was pronounced, the crowd dispersed with amazing rapidity. However, for those of us who hadn't been to Punxsutawney and who might not be there again, it was a time for some close-ups. That's me with Phil, and
me again with a member of the "Inner Circle."




Since there was not much to do on the Knob once the pictures were done, I got in line for a shuttle bus back to downtown. That was when I started to get cold! Luckily, I didn't have to wait for long. I bought some groundhog trinkets in downtown, and found a restaurant that cooked I don't think I'd had since I was a kid: Chipped beef! It's a fairly disgusting-looking dish, and about as heart-non-healthy as you could imagine, but it was good and I felt much warmer when I was done eating.

Most of the in-town activities centered around the community center, where craft-sellers had set up tables to sell everything from groundhog woodcarvings to groundhog stonecarvings. I bought some groundhog earrings and a groundhog Christmas tree ornament. One of the town organizations thoughtfully had a big birthday cake and gifts (notepads and pencils) for those of us who celebrated our birthday today.

Afterwards, I went to the one winery on the Groundhog Trail that was on the way back to Pittsburgh, bought some wine (which appeared to be groundhog free), got a little lost, and got home about 1:30.

Planned "Pilgrimage" to Punxsutawney

My birthday is on Groundhog Day, a fact that has always amused me. It's one of the littlest secular holidays we note.

Even before the Groundhog Day movie, I'd planned to, someday, go to Punxsutawney and stand in the cold to watch the little rodent get pulled from its treestump. So given that the weather looks good for Wednesday, I live only about two hours away, and that I'll be unemployed after tomorrow, it looks like this year is the year. So if you see a well-bundled, round-faced woman with a sign saying something like "I'm 48 today!" that might be me.

Finicky About Flicks

Y'know, I've hardly seen a movie all year that I've loved unreservedly. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind comes close, and that came out almost a year ago! I also liked Kinsey quite a bit. We saw Phantom on Christmas (Jim's uncle loves musicals), but though Emmy Rossum is a lovely singer, the movie didn't come close to working.

So we finally went to The Aviator today. That too is rather flawed, but is, for the most part, a very watchable movie. Leonardo DiCaprio was superb. So were Cate Blanchett, Jude Law and Kate Beckinsale.

There's something about Scorsese movies that never quite works for me. I think my favorite movie of his was Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, and he made that 30 years ago! It's also the least like any of his other movies as it has virtually no violence and focuses on a middle-class woman. I like Taxi Driver but it's too violent in places.

So in The Aviator, Scorsese doesn't deal with violence directly - the most violent scene is one of a plane crash that was pretty gruesome. But he does deal directly with Hughes' decline into madness. I hadn't realized Hughes started to loose touch with reality quite so early in his career, and Scorsese really plays this up. It's as if Scorsese's greatest pleasure is in making his audience squirm. Frankly, it would have been a much better movie if about 20 minutes or so of the "Hughes is nuts" part of the movie had been cut.

I'll Be on the Mike Romigh Show, KDKA 1020, at 9:05 Tonight (1/25)

I've been asked, in my capacity as Dead People Server curator, to go on and talk about Johnny Carson's death and dead pools.

I was on his show once before and I had a good time. If you're a Romigh listener, give us a call - be sure to say if you're a Pittsburgh Weblogger!

The Jenny Turpish Slapped Me Humor Quiz

I love taking those online quizzes - here's a fun one Eva Whitley referenced in her blog today. If you want to take it, go to:

http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp

My results:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sunny/Dark: 4/10
drY/Gross: 3/10
Traditional/Offbeat: 2/10
Active/Passive: 1/10

[[Current Rankings: http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better%2BHumor&page=7]]

You are a SYT--Sunny Dry Traditional. This makes you a Sophisticate.

You like conservative humor -- implied rather than explicit, and a well- timed eyebrow raise rather than a punchline. You're exactly the right kind of funny a well-bred hostess would want at her functions. You might be Jewish.

You're not afraid of a risque joke -- you just don't often make them. This means that people may keep it squeaky clean around you, and that when you do work blue it's super too so funny.

You're like Jon Stewart on that fake cover of the public domain Victorian erotica textbook in the back of America. You should get that book. You'll think it's funny as hell.

You might like The Daily Show, Remember Wenn and when Hamlet says, "Do you think I meant country matters?" You would snigger thyself all the way to the buttery bar.

Of the 7867 people who have taken this quiz, 26 % are this type.

Your Active humor score of 1/10 means you are too shy shy. Hush hush, hide-away. You could really unload a can of whoop-ass hilarity on anyone -- anyone receptive to humor at all -- but the sneaky thing here is you don't really care. You don't feel the need to be the center of attention, so you hold the big guns in reserve until the right moment. In a world full of people who think they're funnier than they are, you're exactly as funny as you want to be. Um, regardless of whether anybody else ever takes notice.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The results are reasonably close - I do like John Stewart and have been enjoying most of his textbook satire America. I don't tend to lead with jokes out of shyness, but because I don't tell jokes very well. When I start to be funny, it tends to be very contextual - with a group of people, just bullshitting.

The other quizzes are quite interesting, but I don't think I'd like to share the results here!

The Government According to Woody Allen

I've just seen Bananas (1971), written by Woody Allen and Mickey Rose, directed by and starring Woody Allen. The plot is basically irrelevent. Near the end of the flick, the Allen protagonist, Fielding Mellish, is on trial for treason.
A number of people were were questioned, including J. Edgar Hoover and Miss America:




Prosecuting Attorney: Tell the court why you think he is a traitor to this country.

Miss America: I think Mr. Mellish is a traitor to this country because his views are different from the views of the president and others of his kind. Differences of opinion should be tolerated, but not when they are too different. Then he becomes a subversive mother.

---

Does anyone else have the impression that Bush & buddies studied Bananas instead of political science when they were in college?

I hadn't seen the movie since I was about 14. It was Allen's second movie as a director, and it is wildly erratic. Parts of it are still quite funny particularly the last 20 minutes of so.

Prince Harry, Brad, Jen and the Death of Common Sense

During a time of economic weirdnesses, tsunamis, war and strange elections, you'd think people would have more to worry about than the state of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's relationship and what Prince Harry chose to wear to a costume party. That these are two of the main stories of the day is a sure sign the people running media companies have contributed greatly to the death of common sense.

I do a fair amount of celebrity watching, probably more than the average reader. I've been a longtime watcher of Entertainment Tonight, but I shut it off in complete disgust over its Brad and Jen fixation this week. So what if a beautiful, busy, rich, distracted couple decides to get separated? We have such a fixation on looks, that somehow beautiful people must stay together - when they separate, it's somehow a tragedy. I'm not that surprised that Brad and Jen are taking some official time apart, after several long "working" separations. But it's not worth the kind of international frenzy this story has engendered. Despite the fact they're rich and famous, even they deserve a little peace and quiet to see if they can work things out, without all the endless speculation.

Likewise, the Prince Harry in Nazi dress feeding frenzy. Yes, choosing to wear a Nazi uniform to a costume party did show a remarkable lack of common sense. However, the people raving over an adolescent's adolescent behavior are even more guilty of not showing any common sense about the situation. If Prince Harry was sneaking off to neo-Nazi meetings, of course there should be ranting and raving. And it would be justified. But he was going to a costume party! He was not representing the royal family at an event - he was at a party!

If I go to a costume party dressed like Barbara Bush, it's not because I want to be Barbara Bush! It's because it might be funny!

On Jobs and Housewifery...

I can't say I was shocked, I'd been warned so I sort of saw it coming.

I got laid off on Wednesday. I have a job (I think) until January 28. But, nothing's in writing so who knows.

A few weeks back, I got into a long phone conversation with a jobless person who's been looking hard for months. This person is extremely bright but, like me, doesn't play political games very much. We also either tend to be honest and direct with our employers/co-workers, or spend a lot of time just biting our tongues in reaction to stuff around us. In the course of our discussion, we both came to the conclusion that there are certain classes of jobs that are kind of like "housewife" jobs. They aren't overly sexy, but no one notices all the work these people do until they're gone. Unfortunately, these are the kinds of jobs we tend to do best.

Money, while important, isn't a super-critical issue for me right now. Jim's job appears secure, and the house and the cars are paid off. Maybe a few weeks away from work entirely might help me get out of my long-term insomnia. I can go the the gym more regularly. I can work on the house (as much as I don't like housework). Maybe the changes will help push me out of my long-term writer's block.

I was working on a mundane novel about two years ago. I recently went back and read what I'd written. While I don't have a stunning writing style (my writing, like my Web site, is very Amish - in other words, plain!), I know some of it is pretty good. But, the whole thing isn't, and I've only written about 20,000 words or so. And I haven't written much in over a year (aside from the blog and keeping my Web sites up to date).

Anyway, if there is anyone out there looking for search engine optimization, hand-coded HTML or XML, or small bits of content or research, drop me a line. My rates are completely negotiable!

Suggestion for Observing Inauguration Day (Thursday, January 20, 2005)

I've been trying to think of a way to observe this year's inauspicious inauguration.

While political protest is certainly a good thing, I really don't like the idea of going to Washington to protest the event. Sometimes, protest just gets way out of hand.

I think a quiet protest is the most appropriate thing to do.

So I will wear black on Thursday, January 20.

Some Thoughts on Kinsey

As someone who got basic reproductive biology as a child from reading Dr. Spock's Guide to Baby and Child Care in the '60s (which was generally reassuring about things like masturbation without ever explaning what masturbation was!), I generally understood most of the basic mechanics about human sexuality even if I got the details wrong. My mother bought some books about sexuality aimed at children, so we had reasonably complete sex ed at home, at school and in church youth groups. By the time my class graduated from high school in 1975, there was only one generally known pregnancy in the whole class, even though many of the kids were already sexually active. Remember, this was the late '60s and early '70s, before the government decided to resume lying to children about sex again.

So, I've always been a fan of Dr. Kinsey. I haven't read his books, but I've read books sparked by his research, and I know I've benefitted by his insistence on teaching the biological information about sex.

Bill Condon, a director/writer who created the very insightful Gods and Monsters a few years ago has made another wonderful movie in Kinsey. It carefully recreates a time when people ranted about zippers leading to promiscuity and oral sex leading to infertility. It's a useful movie to see because we may be headed down that road again. Kinsey makes it clear that while sexual experimentation can be very messy, studying sex and describing it honestly is very important.

One thing that's fascinating about Dr. Kinsey is that Liam Neeson, with a spot-on Midwestern accent, plays him as if he had Asperger's Syndrome - he's very obsessed and just doesn't relate that well to people. He eventually marries one of his students played by Laura Linney. Their relationship is the heart of the first half of the movie, but as the focus of the movie shifts from studying wasps to studying human sexuality, she rather drifts out of much of the movie until closer to the end.

The pacing of the movie is leisurely at first, but speeds up rapidly over the last ten years or so of his life, which is a shame. I would like to have seen a little more of the controversy over Dr. Kinsey in the '50s. The movie is absolutely worth the trip, for its compelling acting and intelligent writing, but it's also, rather strongly, a cautionary tale.